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Poor Ben*

Some conversations I’ve had with Ben today:

Please note, the conversations below are sometimes quite geeky. We didn’t use any of the hyper-geeky abbreviations – I just can’t be bothered to type…

On surveys…

B - There were some children at work today. They were doing a survey about the languages we spoke and our favourite seasons and dishes.

L - What did you say?

B - Well, I spoke to them in French so I had to say I spoke English and French. It would have seemed weird otherwise.

L - Obviously. What about your favourite season? Summer?

B - No, winter. I couldn’t remember how many accents there were in été. For my favourite dish I said dessert.

L - Didn’t they want to know a specific dish?

B - Yes. I just said all. All desserts.

I never got to do fun surveys at school. We just used to get to count the amount of cars turning into roads and stuff. Rubbish.

On our DVD collection…

L - Why do we have two copies of all of the Lord of the Rings films?

B - I bought the first set and then the extended editions came out. So I bought them too.

L - Really? You don’t watch them all back to back to discover which bits have been extended?

I worry I have given Ben an idea, here… I also worry he is grooming me into a geek. He seemed very pleased the other day when I knew the name of the stupid LOTR castle. I should add trying to make me a geek to the list before it’s too late…

This conversation started because I decided to alphabetise the DVDs. Geeky in an acceptable, house proud, OCD way?

On the next Star Trek film

B – I was reading about the plans for the new Star Trek film today. At one point they were considering teaming up with the X Men but decided it wouldn’t work - Patrick Stewart would have to play Charles Xavier, not Jean-Luc Picard.

L – Also because X Men isn’t set in the future? Anyway, CX is dead.

B – But the ST film has a new timeline now…

L – That doesn’t mean he would have come back to life a century after dying. JLP wouldn’t have been born anyway.

It’s too late… Ben has turned me into a geek. I am now fully conversant on the effects of screwing with the time-space continuum… or something. It gives me a headache.

On Commando

B – Shall we watch Commando?

L – No. Commander?? It sounds awful.

B – Um, Commando. It’s quite modern. It’s got Arnie in it. IMDB says ‘A retired elite commando has only a few hours to find and rescue his daughter from an exiled dictator’.

L – Wandering over to the computer. It’s from 1985! It’s not modern – I was ONE! Also, it sounds like a mix of Patriot Games and that awful film with Shannon from Lost.

B – Apparently you haven’t seen Patriot Games… And you liked Taken.

L – I didn’t like the ending – she didn’t deserve to meet Holly Valance, stupid taxi sharing twat – and I HATED her coat.

After this, Ben wisely escaped to the peace and quiet offered by Call of Duty. I think I ruined Commando for him. On the plus side, I didn’t ask him if it’s the one where Steven Seagal punches a penguin** in the face.

* One of my mum’s most frequently uttered phrases.

** Here are BLB Corp. we do not condone penguin punching. At least one of our board secretly dreams of opening a penguin sanctuary.

2 comments:

Ben said...

Poor me indeed. I must point out that I thought the X-Men/Star Trek tie-in idea they had for the next movie was ridiculous. Also, I was joking about you wanting to watch Commando. There was never a chance you'd like it. Old Arnie films do make me laugh. "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired." Hah brilliant!

Laura and Ben said...

You always say that line to me - I still have no idea where it's from!